Go ahead judge me, call me anything you want. I know everything is wrong that’s why I am writing this.
I met this guy sa isang anonymous app, nag-post ako ng “Hi, katamad.” and then he just messaged me, I replied, we talked and talked, that’s how our conversation started and he asked for my number and and nag-usap na lang through text. He was very nice, masarap kausap, sweet and all though di naman sya gwapo, keri lang po. I don’t mind looks that much naman e, basta ba maayos, yun lang naman. Gustong gusto nyang makipag meet sa’kin, pero ako naman ayaw ko kasi mahiyain talaga ako and baka madissapoint lang sya sa’kin, kaya iwas meet ups ako kung maari! Pero the next day we ended up meeting each other kasi nga nasa parehong lugar lang din sya, we held hands and nag usap ng kung ano-ano. To cut the story short, hiningi ko Facebook account nya and found out na may dine-date pala sya. Ouch talaga sa’kin, too early for feelings pero medyo nasaktan ako kasi ginagawa akong side chick nung gago! I told my friends about it, “Layuan mo na!” syempre yun yung mga sinabi nila. Alam ko naman yun e, pero ewan ko ba kung bakit hindi ko ginawa. Nagmeet ulit kami, and dun may kasamang kiss na medyo passionate, I don’t need to write everything in details baka magmukhang secret files ito! Nagkasundo kami the next time na mag-meet kami gagawin namin somewhere private, ayoko kasi ng PDA. And yun nga last night, we made out. Nothing happened other than that, and while cuddling each other I told him that I knew she’s dating someone. He said hindi sila, wala silang label. Tinanong ko kung gusto nya ba si girl he said, “Quite yes.” sinabi ko lahat nang mga nakita ko sa social nya pati na rin dun sa girl and tinanong ko sya nang tinanong, gusto ko kasing maliwanagan, ayaw kong maging sanhi ng heartbreak which is I know that’s what I’m doing right now kahit na sinabi nyang walang “sila”. I hate myself for doing that. What the fuck is wrong with me ? I enjoy his company so much. Pero ‘tang ina, enough na, medyo nasasaktan na ko sa mga ginagawa ko.
So dear me, I know you deserve someone better who would be able to see your worth, someday.